What does my rage need to express to me?

Hello. 
I am your pure rage and I demand respect. 
Do not deny me of my place in your psyche. 
I sit on a throne as all emotions do. 
You can deny my power and purpose all you want,
but it is not to your benefit. 
If you can learn to listen and act on the wisdom I carry,
I will return to your ocean,
as there is no more reason for me to persist. 

I am an ally that arises from the depths of you when the moment calls me to materialize;
I am a mighty messenger.
And I am here to help.

Listen carefully now...
collapsed shoulders
head hanging far forward 
Angry because I feel misunderstood by my family and most women
Angry because I feel cut off from my true voice
Angry because I don’t know how I fit into society
I feel like a failure because I don’t make enough money to support myself financially without depending on others for basic needs

Trapped
Full of unshared gifts
Disconnected 

Angry because I feel I can’t express my anger to people when I feel it in their presence

Does my rage make me unlovable?

In my mind I say to others I perceive as weak, 
you’re not good enough for me
you’re not good enough for me
you’re not worth my time 
you’re just going to make me love you
and then I’ll be stuck caring about you as you spiral down
don’t fucking take me down with you.

Guarded 
Hardened 
So soft inside it hurts 

Please don’t make me love you. 

***

Dr. Jill’s Prescription for rage’s expression:

Keep writing your songs and establishing ways to share them in person and make money. Then you will feel heard and understood and you can have the conversations you’re interested in having. This will also help you assert your place in society while remaining true to who you are. 

If you build up your financial security, you will be able to express your anger more honestly without fear of rejection and loss of invaluable resources and connection. And then the people who are not compatible with you will quickly fall away and you’ll finally be able to make real feeling friends.

Not many people have met the real Jill yet, so a lot of the current relationships feel watery and fleeting. Give your authentic self time to bloom.

It seems like you have a hard time tolerating weakness and stagnation in others. Perfectly reasonable. Thanks for letting me know you feel that way. You get to decide who you hang around. Sounds like you don’t want to be unnecessarily heart broken by people who couldn’t get it together for whatever reason. You’re strong and looking to get stronger. 

Bless your heart for having the courage to have standards. 

The reality is that most people in life you’ll just pass on by.

Who do you want to sculpt yourself out of?
Be sure the clay is quality. 

As a child, anger was the only way you felt you could have any power or control in a situation; so you held onto it with every last shred of your will. But now your relationship with anger needs to be cleaned up. When you feel anger, take the time to speak with it and receive it and map a course of action if applicable.

Scrape the glue of grudge off your spirit and become like a shiny leaf. Anger will drop on your leaves for a visit and then slide off, and you will remain as you were to soak in the light of the day.